Shower children with time, love
Although children don’t come with an instruction guide, research into parenting suggests there are some key elements to raising a child successfully. While there are specific theories and years of parental wisdom passed down from generation to generation, most literature focuses on a few simple principals. When it comes to being an effective parent, give your child plenty of time and love.
On a very basic level, you can express love by giving your child lots of hugs and kisses and telling them how much you care for them. Children are never too young or too old for a parent’s love, encouragement, and affection.
Love should also expand into even the most challenging aspects of parenting. For example, use love when you discipline, knowing you are teaching your child a better way to live. Children do best with clear boundaries and guidelines of what is expected. When they mess up, use it as an opportunity to model compassion and love while providing them the tools to behave appropriately in the future.
Use love to teach children how to make decisions in life. Our best life decisions are made from love and our worst, from fear. Be an example of this in the way you live your life and the way you treat others. By teaching children to trust in love, you are teaching them happiness and providing them with security.
Dr. Anthony Witham says that “children spell love … T-I-M-E.” One of the important ways we can show our children love is to spend enough of this limited resource with them. As most parents try to balance work and family, it becomes important to make parenting time a priority.
Set aside a special night with no cell phones, computers, or other distractions to spend time together as a family. Play a game, go swimming, or take a walk around the neighborhood. The activity isn’t near as important as the attitude you have while creating happy memories together.
Make family dinner a time to reconnect and share what happened throughout the day. Your dinner table is the perfect place to show your children they are your priority. This is also a great time to plan family activities or other special events.
You cannot spoil a child with too much time or love. By parenting them with love, not only will you increase the joy in your household, you will be the person who teaches them what unconditional love means. And, I suspect, they will teach you a thing or two about love in the process.
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Melissa Gibson Behunin is a professor of psychology and family studies at Arizona Western College. She can be reached at melissa.behunin@azwestern.edu.
